Wednesday, November 7, 2012


I'll turn 30 this Friday. I know that it's supposed to be a milestone and evoke all kinds of zeal for accomplishing things before it happens. But it really just feels pretty regular. I didn't have any "thirty before 30" aspirations. I would have an extremely difficult time thinking up "eight before 30". I just have no vision, I guess. When I see others travel photos, skydiving, snorkeling, etc. etc. I don't imagine myself there.
We didn't grow up being provoked or inspired to dream big (or small) or have goals for our future. We were properly fed, sheltered and clothed (as well as any 80's early 90's kid could've been clothed) but the challenge to be or do anything was not brought. We were pretty much the Connor family. Roseanne was like watchin home videos. Remember that Godzilla that was on the table behind the couch? Yeah, that was our house. Just workin class tacky, all the way. Maybe that's why I have an affinity for crocheted blankets and using toys for decor......
I don't have any "pleasure quests" I feel the itch to do but lately, I am a lil disappointed in myself for being such a life slug. And my skill set includes making puppets, mediocre drawing and (I've just spent 3 minutes trying to think of a third) so I feel pretty limited in the "Doin what you love for a livin" department. I'm either experiencing a pre-premenopausal moment or a gallon of repressed ambition is cloggin up my pipes and makin me a grizzled, cantankerous hater.
At  least Homer the cat brought me an early birthday present.
           So thoughtful of ya, buddy.

P.S. I came back and cut out a whole paragraph that was pessimistic and even this "P.S." has been revamped after I posted this. I think I made a good 30 year old decision.


  1. FRIEND! You have a stable husband and 4 amazing children. You are a blessing to me and so many other people. For 30 you still shine, you just need to bust off the tarnish. Suck it up.... So u at your "not so surprise" birthday party Saturday. I love u

    1. I can't face a crowd. I can't even imagine who you've paid to come ;)