Friday, October 3, 2014

Quiet makes me talk

I'ts really quiet here. Everyone's in bed and Jerome's at his evening job. I blog in my head all the time, every day. Bloggers will understand that perfectly. I'm here all of a sudden and don't want to make a big fuss of it so I'm not going to edit this post. My grammar sucks pretty badly anyhow so it won't be noticeable......
I spend a lot of time alone.
 I spend most of my time alone. 
Well, there's always Gabe. I call him my constant companion. He's my closest friend :) 
I'm in my head too much when I'm hermiting. I notice that the more I fade from social media the more invisible I become to others in real life. I like it. 
I like Instagram, lately. It's really a lot to blame for my blogless life. I love that I can post a moment and move on. But you know what? I haven't used my camera in almost a year. That's not a good thing. 
I have been disappointed so much lately after putting my heart into people and projects that I have lost desire. For people. For projects. I am jaded and just want to do me and my family. That's not a good thing. 
I've had the weirdest theories and made some reaching parallels about my favorite movie, Labrynth. (introvercy will do that) 
Jareth tempts Sarah to "forget about the baby" and immerse herself in his crazy upside down world. In my own life I tried for years to "forget" while immersing myself in a crazy, upside down world of my own making. I met many twisted characters like in the movie,  some merely foolish and harmless but others who would have no qualms with seeing the worst happen to me. I could write about the parallels all night but my eyes hurt. I couldn't forget the baby and that's what matters.
I miss being here. I miss wanting to be here. This was my place. 
Take care, though I can't imagine anyone would be hanging around. 
And randomly, I just wonder about Eartha Kitsch all the time. I hope she is well. She put a hundred smiles on my face in a tough season. 
I leave you with a random picture of us on the first day of school. Gabe was caught mid sneeze. You're welcome ;)

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Minimalist Game

This is where I'm at today.  It's come a long way from a few moths back and I realize that it's really not that horrendous for the American standard of living.

 But what is all this crap?
Of course, I know what it all is. I can even tell you exactly where I picked it up, how little I paid, the conversation I had with the person involved in the transaction, etc etc.....
But like what does all this crap mean to me?
That's where I'm at.
And I'm finding it means a little too much.
 So I've joined Mason and Brian in a month long endeavor called
"The Minimalist Game".
On the first day you get rid of one thing, the second day two things, third day three things and so on and so on. My first item was perfect in this practice of "loosening" the grip we have on stuff.
My friend asked me if I had any vintage shirts I didn't want and I went to my closet and gave her one I am extremely attached to. So much that I won't even wear it and it more honor than any scrap of material has any right to. I gave that shirt more consideration than I do people's feelings and needs sometimes. That sounds a little dramatic but that is the honest truth.
 And ironically,
the shirt I thought I treasured so much has never shined more brighter ;)

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Box castle for days........

We're stayin close to home this summer and it's all about creating fun and FREE outlets from boredom. The kids will never own another handheld gaming device as long as I've got a say in it (they had a Leapster for a week and nearly killed each other) and there's only so many movies they can watch before good old fashioned mom guilt sets it.
The box castle we all made last week has been a constant source of play.
It's like the kiddie water cooler, they're always gathered around it. 

Watching little man work out his artistic expressions has been the best part of it.
He's always been a whirling dervish who's never been keen on sitting long enough to create anything.
It's good to see him settling a bit......

 Ava said this is her and a teenager. They're always talking about these mythical teenagers, lately. Remember bein little and standing in awe of teenagers? And then you grow up and realize most of the ones you thought were teens were really like 10 years old? ;)

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Summer Treasures and BOWIE

With Jerome workin two jobs to float this ship I don't spend the way I used to lookin for second hand treasures. A few months went by that I didn't even stop in to any and I honestly didn't miss it.
But now that the kids are homebound for summer break we're all itchin to get out once in awhile.
Some people go on real vacations and trips but we're just not there yet. One day! ;)
I thought about The Goodwill Geek on this one. If he ever admits to liking vintage Avon perfume bottles it'll be on it's way up north.
 And I've always wanted a new one of these soft llamas!! When I was little my granny gave me an old family of them that must have been from the 60's and I literally loved them to shreds. This one's a newer one I'm sure but only cost me a buck :)
 I had to grab this guy from Spirited Away for a special someone who's going to be 14 soon ;)
I've been squirreling away a little bundle this past year for her. Do any of you have little hamster piles tucked away for other's birthdays and such? I have so many in so many different spots that I often leave some gifts out on accident. If I ever sent you anything I guarantee that I missed a couple of your things! I've found several things I meant to send off at Christmas.....
 And of course this found it's way over here.
I never set out to be but somehow it just crept up on me.
I'm a Ziggy fan. And this cup sums up my whole being.
 And this retro southwestern frog scrub brush holder (what a mouthful)
sums up my whole house. Don't be jealous.
 Records are not around so much in the usual places I notice.
Today when I was checkin a fresh stack I figured out why I probably hardly see them anymore.
I had just crouched down to thumb through the box and this dude comes up and just hovers over me. I thought he may have been you know, a little slow or something, so I just ignored his presence. Then I notice him trying to get these blue latex gloves on and I really look at him. He just stares right back at me with an intense look. And then his wife comes up and rubs his shoulders and says "Good luck, honey."
HA!! I could barely control my urge to chuckle!
I may or may not have bought a few extra ones that I would have left just because I sensed he would get them. I may or may not be a crappy person just like a lot of other folks ;)
Here's a few that I got today....
 Ummm, just because they will make awesome gifts for a certain Ms. Jones ;)

 AND OMG BECAUSE I ONLY EVER RESERVE AN OMG FOR THE MOST AWESOME OCCASIONS (bearing in mind, the "G" for me means "gorgonzola")
It's totally disgusting cover actually has black mold inside it and I had to wipe mold off the record before playing it.
But it's beautiful.
And I may feel a little sick and queasy since messing with it.
But it's Bowie, man.

 P.S. The Trash Man made me be a blogger again by announcing that I was back to documenting.
Thanks for speakin what wasn't into existence, buddy ;)

Sunday, June 22, 2014

This Sunday

This Sunday........

 I woke up with a renewed desire for working with children. I woke up with the idea that one night of our bi-weekly gatherings I would spend with the children instead of in adult discussion. I mulled it over for about a minute or two and then made the mental decision to say YES to this idea.And once I said yes, a peace and excitement filled me up.
In our nursery classroom we set about teaching the lesson packet that is provided for us.
It's the usual Sunday school type stuff, today being baby Moses. Of course we emphasize on the fact that there were great big alligators in that river he floated. Now that's a story ;)
We ask a simple question, "Are you a big brother or sister?"
Then a regular day in nursery becomes something else.....
"I have a big brother. He had to move to grandma's and I miss him", says one tiny girl who's visiting for the first time. Her eyes are welled with tears.
"I'm a big sister, my mommy's having a baby! My daddy's in jail for yelling at my mommy and I miss him", says little friend who I absolutely adore. 
"The cops came to my house because daddy was yelling at my mom", says Gabe's little buddy......
You know, it's just life. Church is full of people who are living a life just like everyone else. From the outside it appears like a country club where all the happy shiny people meet up to exhort each other in their good deeds. I used to believe the same way. And now I know that it is the farthest thing from reality.
So what do you say to a room full of little children who open up like this? There isn't anything in today's lesson about daddy's in jail or brothers who have left you without notice.....
You just pause for a beat, you close your eyes and give God the heart signal.
"Hey, I trust you. Please say what they need."
And you tell them you and Mr. Jerome fight, too, sometimes. When they open their little mouths in shock, you assure them it is true, all mommy's and daddy's fight sometimes. And sometimes they yell. But you know what, it's not about you at all. It makes you feel sad and scared and you really think you did something to make them upset but mommy's and daddy's are having a hard time in this world and it makes them overwhelmed. But you are their treasure, the best thing they've got and they love you.......
You know, we don't judge those parents. We have been there. Of course on a less dramatic scale these days but we are currently in and out of these moments ourselves and are teaching our kids the same thing.  And it amazes me that what we are growing in at home was needed for our little friends.
This Sunday,
 God confirmed a dream in my heart to work peace into the little people's lives.
And I say yes.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Get my heart right and maybe my photos back

A moment of honesty is due.
We open our home for two gatherings a week for fellowship and such and to be completely real I just wasn't feelin it. To put it simply, I just felt overwhelmed. I'm a natural introvert BUT I love people.
I love to see people grow, overcome life's punches and my favorite thing is to see people punch life right back. Like right smack in the face, just give it all you got kind of punches. That's when I feel the most alive and most filled up with good stuff.
But then I need a break from other breathing and viable beings. Like as much time as I spend being Mick and Paulie with you in your corner, I need double that time to recuperate and be alone. It's like muscle recovery for an introvert. And in that downtime if I'm not spending any authentic moments of intimacy with God, it's like I'm sleeping on a straw cot. I go through the motions of "rest" but I never ever feel rejuvenated. Today I shared my heart with Jerome and he said the single best thing he's ever said to me.....
"It doesn't matter how much good you do, Laura. You aren't spending time with Him and that's why you aren't being renewed."
He's totally right. And then he went on to tell me stuff like "What are you gonna do about that?" and I was all, "Ok, that's enough. Stop while you're ahead!" ;)
Every time I feel like he's just not there for me enough, he reminds me just how much he is ALWAYS  there. In the ways no one could ever be.......
And on a completely different note,
I'm just sitting here wondering why I've had traffic over here from a singles meetup site called Creep-AY. I've had my identity stolen before for a couple of credit cards and I've experienced a lady who saved my personal photos off facebook to use as her profile pictures on a local sale site so it wouldn't surprise me to find out I've got some weird dating profile set up by a stranger out there. There is a reason the root word of stranger is "strange".....
Anyhow, if it's any of you guys who actually read this little slice of internet, would you kindly rethink that? And if it's not the case at all, then don't mind my suspicion ;)

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Queen chair makeover

Jerome pretty much told me to mow the yard this morning and I'm glad he did. Gettin movin early in the morning always leads to a productive day. I finally got the zap I needed to tackle this tacky/awesome chair. It was in pretty disgusting shape when I picked it up.
It literally had boogers under one side!!!! Gag me with a roach!! Remember sayin that? ;)

A quick sanding and settling on this blue paint that's pretty much taken over the interior of my house and it was easy breezy from there. I sat out on the porch to work, listening to my husband talk with the neighbors. Our friend Gillard down the street passed away this week and I listened to each of them expressing their love for him.......

I don't belabor the "design" process and try to make quick decisions. I know if a project goes back into the garage it may never return. That helps me in choosing fabrics and such. It also helps that my house is a pretty haphazard explosion of colors. I can't really make it any more tacky than it already is up in this place.........

So here's what we turned out.
 A tacky southwestern themed queen chair turned into a tacky southwestern themed chair of another color.
Like turning squash into zucchini......

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Summer feels good

Summer's almost two weeks in and I'm not willing it to pass us quickly. I enjoy my children home.
This is after all, where they belong most in the whole world.
I hope to never be one who says "I can't wait for school to start..."
That's kind of equal to saying "I can't wait to empty my life of my children so I can do me."
But now that I've said that all hoity toity you can bet it'll come rollin out of my mouth by the weekend! That's usually how it goes, folks ;)
 The grass is thick and cool.......
 The kids pile in the bed one by one as they awaken, no deadlines loomin over us......
 Spiderman's still keepin the place safe and secure......
 Momma cleared out a space to make room for something special......
  A wise man plants seed in good soil.......
 And a foolish woman teases a friend with selfies in her bed while she's out workin her fanny off.....

 It's been a hard few months without my stronger half around. Two jobs keep him as a pop in guest it seems most of the time. I'm a natural introvert and am not prone to loneliness or boredom but I guess I've just grown pretty fond of this guy over the last decade because boy have I been missin his goofy laugh around! But this season will pass one day.............
I'll be here a lot more this summer. Maybe one day this silly blog will be special to my babies.
In that case, I better put our memories down....

Monday, April 14, 2014

Like I have time for this?......

As I'm working fast and hard on some pretty extensive Easter projects for my church, my thoughts are begging to be layed out. Because you know, that's the rational thing to do when you have three weeks worth of work to accomplish in 4 days. Just take a break to blog somethin all rambly....
 Anyhow, I'm just thinkin about how much we can accomplish from heart alone. What I mean is like how you can have so little material to work with, no extra money at your disposal and a small window of time to do it but if it's something you're passionate about you can create some really great stuff. 
Our classrooms are badly in need of a color injection. Framed prints are not cheap so I've bought some dollar store foam boards and recreated some images I liked online.
$2 knockoffs rather than $100 for framed art? 
You betcha!

This is what I was I was working on when I was inspired to take this detour.
Because we don't have a printer, I have to look up fonts online and hand draw them, paint them and then tediously cut them out..... I never enjoy doing this part.
But what a small sacrifice.......
I think about what I could be doing in this exact moment had I said "No" when God called me out. What would I be doing?
 Where would I find myself at this moment?......
Surely not anything like this. Nothing as pure in intent, nothing peaceful and constructive as this.....
Anyone in my life at this moment would have trouble imagining anything harsh for me.
But I know. I was there, you see.....

I feel like everything I do is always down to the wire and by the skin of my teeth. I never have everything I need as far as materials. Never seem to have enough time..... but it just happens.
It's kinda like how the baby doesn't care if the doctor's there or not, it's gonna be born when it needs to. And the momma? 
She's gonna push whether conditions are favorable or not ;)
Geez, what an overly dramatic analogy...
I've once again overcommitted but you know what? 
Just as it's played out dozens of times, I know.
We're gonna make it to the church on time.......
And what a privilege to be called to serve within my passion. The alternative for my life keeps me ever grateful. Even my hands, I do not consider my own........
 or my feet ;)