Friday, October 3, 2014

Quiet makes me talk

I'ts really quiet here. Everyone's in bed and Jerome's at his evening job. I blog in my head all the time, every day. Bloggers will understand that perfectly. I'm here all of a sudden and don't want to make a big fuss of it so I'm not going to edit this post. My grammar sucks pretty badly anyhow so it won't be noticeable......
I spend a lot of time alone.
 I spend most of my time alone. 
Well, there's always Gabe. I call him my constant companion. He's my closest friend :) 
I'm in my head too much when I'm hermiting. I notice that the more I fade from social media the more invisible I become to others in real life. I like it. 
I like Instagram, lately. It's really a lot to blame for my blogless life. I love that I can post a moment and move on. But you know what? I haven't used my camera in almost a year. That's not a good thing. 
I have been disappointed so much lately after putting my heart into people and projects that I have lost desire. For people. For projects. I am jaded and just want to do me and my family. That's not a good thing. 
I've had the weirdest theories and made some reaching parallels about my favorite movie, Labrynth. (introvercy will do that) 
Jareth tempts Sarah to "forget about the baby" and immerse herself in his crazy upside down world. In my own life I tried for years to "forget" while immersing myself in a crazy, upside down world of my own making. I met many twisted characters like in the movie,  some merely foolish and harmless but others who would have no qualms with seeing the worst happen to me. I could write about the parallels all night but my eyes hurt. I couldn't forget the baby and that's what matters.
I miss being here. I miss wanting to be here. This was my place. 
Take care, though I can't imagine anyone would be hanging around. 
And randomly, I just wonder about Eartha Kitsch all the time. I hope she is well. She put a hundred smiles on my face in a tough season. 
I leave you with a random picture of us on the first day of school. Gabe was caught mid sneeze. You're welcome ;)