Sunday, December 16, 2012

What I believe is Love.

After the heinous tragedy in Connecticut I have not felt like getting on here to talk about my life and my "stuff". My pithy woes, cutesy retellings of the day's events and documenting the most recent wastes of my money just seem so irrelevant to real LIFE. 
And then to find out a young woman I have recently come to "inter-know" has lost her father, I just have to put my lighthearted ramblings on the shelf for a few days....

My carnal mind wants to pull the trigger on men like the one who killed all those little children today. But His Spirit reminds me that we are all capable of such evils when separate from God.  We're all in the same boat.
What a heart smashing week........

I refer often to vintage finds as "treasure". I use this term lightly, I do not really count things as invaluable. The real treasure is us. We are the most valuable currency upon the Earth. We are God's masterpiece and despite what evils we bestow on one another, He  places infinite value on us. Our worth is NOT measured in how well we treat each other. It is no better explained than in the Cross of Calvary. One Son who was in a tight, intimate relationship with His Father was the propitiation for billions of sons and daughters who were callous, and unloving towards the Father. From both God and Jesus, the unmerited love towards us is mind blowing. To give life to someone. To love them. And then to be despised by them and then still move heaven and earth to reconnect.... That is our God. No taskmaster or "regulator".... Just a father.  
We are called to love one another. 
We should love one another.

If this post makes you squirm and wonder if I am one of "those" Christians who wag the finger, carry the protest sign or throws scriptures at "sinners" then take heart. I am not a hatemonger. In my early twenties I literally lied down and spoke aloud to a god I had heard about from others but could not relate to any more than I could Bigfoot. I said "If you are who they say you are, then I will believe. If you are, then you can have my life. I am killing myself anyway and I don't know a way out. If you are who they say, please be so for me, too." 
And He came and I cried for hours and 21 years of tears fell and at the end I was empty. I felt nothing but peace. To feel quiet, to feel peace in a mind that had been plagued with self loathing, images of suicide, replays of sexual abuse and misuse,  shame,  guilt, plans of stealing for the next fix, plans of not getting caught....the complete and sudden absence of these  was proof that He came.

So I know what He has called us to do. It's to be there for folks when they call out for love. We gotta hear them even when they're not callin with their voice. We gotta give them the love that is unmerited the way He gave it to me and still does. When I asked and believed that day, I was a junkie mess. He didn't make me get clean and rack up some noble deeds before He held me. We should do the same for others. That's the way He has called us.

I know this has been long. But my heart feels long and my thoughts on love have been drawing out this week. He's melting and stirring my heart which has become solidified over these past months with so much inner and outer talk about my own self.  To feel Him stirring me up is a comfort to me. To know He's right here chiseling me still is a peace to my lonely heart.
I hope you are all well. I hope you feel loved by those around you and I am serious in saying, I love you, too 

Peace and Love, guys. Below are my real treasures......


  1. My favorite one... Amen Laura, so refreshing! Amen Amen Amen

  2. I'm so saddened by these events that I cannot even bring myself to watch TV coverage about it. The airwaves are inundated with the images of these children who will never celebrate another birthday or holiday ever again. Really makes you put things into perspective and makes my problems seem petty compared to what these families are going through. My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones.

    1. This one hit so close to the heart, no really it smashed it all up. So random, in such a "safe" place..... the truth that we cannot control all aspects of our children's safety brings me so much fear, all I can do is put my hope in God for them.

  3. :) :) There's so much more isn't there?