This Sunday

This Sunday........

 

 I woke up with a renewed desire for working with children. I woke up with the idea that one night of our bi-weekly gatherings I would spend with the children instead of in adult discussion. I mulled it over for about a minute or two and then made the mental decision to say YES to this idea.And once I said yes, a peace and excitement filled me up.

In our nursery classroom we set about teaching the lesson packet that is provided for us.

It's the usual Sunday school type stuff, today being baby Moses. Of course we emphasize on the fact that there were great big alligators in that river he floated. Now that's a story ;)

We ask a simple question, "Are you a big brother or sister?"

Then a regular day in nursery becomes something else.....

"I have a big brother. He had to move to grandma's and I miss him", says one tiny girl who's visiting for the first time. Her eyes are welled with tears.

"I'm a big sister, my mommy's having a baby! My daddy's in jail for yelling at my mommy and I miss him", says little friend who I absolutely adore. 

"The cops came to my house because daddy was yelling at my mom", says Gabe's little buddy......

 

You know, it's just life. Church is full of people who are living a life just like everyone else. From the outside it appears like a country club where all the happy shiny people meet up to exhort each other in their good deeds. I used to believe the same way. And now I know that it is the farthest thing from reality.

So what do you say to a room full of little children who open up like this? There isn't anything in today's lesson about daddy's in jail or brothers who have left you without notice.....

You just pause for a beat, you close your eyes and give God the heart signal.

"Hey, I trust you. Please say what they need."

And you tell them you and Mr. Jerome fight, too, sometimes. When they open their little mouths in shock, you assure them it is true, all mommy's and daddy's fight sometimes. And sometimes they yell. But you know what, it's not about you at all. It makes you feel sad and scared and you really think you did something to make them upset but mommy's and daddy's are having a hard time in this world and it makes them overwhelmed. But you are their treasure, the best thing they've got and they love you.......

You know, we don't judge those parents. We have been there. Of course on a less dramatic scale these days but we are currently in and out of these moments ourselves and are teaching our kids the same thing.  And it amazes me that what we are growing in at home was needed for our little friends.

 

This Sunday,

 God confirmed a dream in my heart to work peace into the little people's lives.

And I say yes.

 

 

Get my heart right and maybe my photos back

A moment of honesty is due.

We open our home for two gatherings a week for fellowship and such and to be completely real I just wasn't feelin it. To put it simply, I just felt overwhelmed. I'm a natural introvert BUT I love people.

I love to see people grow, overcome life's punches and my favorite thing is to see people punch life right back. Like right smack in the face, just give it all you got kind of punches. That's when I feel the most alive and most filled up with good stuff.

But then I need a break from other breathing and viable beings. Like as much time as I spend being Mick and Paulie with you in your corner, I need double that time to recuperate and be alone. It's like muscle recovery for an introvert. And in that downtime if I'm not spending any authentic moments of intimacy with God, it's like I'm sleeping on a straw cot. I go through the motions of "rest" but I never ever feel rejuvenated. Today I shared my heart with Jerome and he said the single best thing he's ever said to me.....

"It doesn't matter how much good you do, Laura. You aren't spending time with Him and that's why you aren't being renewed."

Yep.

He's totally right. And then he went on to tell me stuff like "What are you gonna do about that?" and I was all, "Ok, that's enough. Stop while you're ahead!" ;)

Every time I feel like he's just not there for me enough, he reminds me just how much he is ALWAYS  there. In the ways no one could ever be.......

And on a completely different note,

I'm just sitting here wondering why I've had traffic over here from a singles meetup site called browsemypics.com...... Creep-AY. I've had my identity stolen before for a couple of credit cards and I've experienced a lady who saved my personal photos off facebook to use as her profile pictures on a local sale site so it wouldn't surprise me to find out I've got some weird dating profile set up by a stranger out there. There is a reason the root word of stranger is "strange".....

Anyhow, if it's any of you guys who actually read this little slice of internet, would you kindly rethink that? And if it's not the case at all, then don't mind my suspicion ;)

 

 



Queen chair makeover

Jerome pretty much told me to mow the yard this morning and I'm glad he did. Gettin movin early in the morning always leads to a productive day. I finally got the zap I needed to tackle this tacky/awesome chair. It was in pretty disgusting shape when I picked it up.

It literally had boogers under one side!!!! Gag me with a roach!! Remember sayin that? ;)

A quick sanding and settling on this blue paint that's pretty much taken over the interior of my house and it was easy breezy from there. I sat out on the porch to work, listening to my husband talk with the neighbors. Our friend Gillard down the street passed away this week and I listened to each of them expressing their love for him.......

I don't belabor the "design" process and try to make quick decisions. I know if a project goes back into the garage it may never return. That helps me in choosing fabrics and such. It also helps that my house is a pretty haphazard explosion of colors. I can't really make it any more tacky than it already is up in this place.........

 

So here's what we turned out.

 A tacky southwestern themed queen chair turned into a tacky southwestern themed chair of another color.

Like turning squash into zucchini......

Summer feels good

Summer's almost two weeks in and I'm not willing it to pass us quickly. I enjoy my children home.

This is after all, where they belong most in the whole world.

I hope to never be one who says "I can't wait for school to start..."

That's kind of equal to saying "I can't wait to empty my life of my children so I can do me."

But now that I've said that all hoity toity you can bet it'll come rollin out of my mouth by the weekend! That's usually how it goes, folks ;)

 The grass is thick and cool.......

 The kids pile in the bed one by one as they awaken, no deadlines loomin over us......

 Spiderman's still keepin the place safe and secure......

 Momma cleared out a space to make room for something special......

  A wise man plants seed in good soil.......

 And a foolish woman teases a friend with selfies in her bed while she's out workin her fanny off.....

 

 It's been a hard few months without my stronger half around. Two jobs keep him as a pop in guest it seems most of the time. I'm a natural introvert and am not prone to loneliness or boredom but I guess I've just grown pretty fond of this guy over the last decade because boy have I been missin his goofy laugh around! But this season will pass one day.............
I'll be here a lot more this summer. Maybe one day this silly blog will be special to my babies.
In that case, I better put our memories down....



Like I have time for this?......

As I'm working fast and hard on some pretty extensive Easter projects for my church, my thoughts are begging to be layed out. Because you know, that's the rational thing to do when you have three weeks worth of work to accomplish in 4 days. Just take a break to blog somethin all rambly....

 Anyhow, I'm just thinkin about how much we can accomplish from heart alone. What I mean is like how you can have so little material to work with, no extra money at your disposal and a small window of time to do it but if it's something you're passionate about you can create some really great stuff. 

Our classrooms are badly in need of a color injection. Framed prints are not cheap so I've bought some dollar store foam boards and recreated some images I liked online.
$2 knockoffs rather than $100 for framed art? 

You betcha!

This is what I was I was working on when I was inspired to take this detour.

Because we don't have a printer, I have to look up fonts online and hand draw them, paint them and then tediously cut them out..... I never enjoy doing this part.

But what a small sacrifice.......

I think about what I could be doing in this exact moment had I said "No" when God called me out. What would I be doing?

 Where would I find myself at this moment?......

Surely not anything like this. Nothing as pure in intent, nothing peaceful and constructive as this.....

Anyone in my life at this moment would have trouble imagining anything harsh for me.

But I know. I was there, you see.....

I feel like everything I do is always down to the wire and by the skin of my teeth. I never have everything I need as far as materials. Never seem to have enough time..... but it just happens.
It's kinda like how the baby doesn't care if the doctor's there or not, it's gonna be born when it needs to. And the momma? 

She's gonna push whether conditions are favorable or not ;)

Geez, what an overly dramatic analogy...

I've once again overcommitted but you know what? 

Just as it's played out dozens of times, I know.

We're gonna make it to the church on time.......

And what a privilege to be called to serve within my passion. The alternative for my life keeps me ever grateful. Even my hands, I do not consider my own........

 or my feet ;)

 

Broken walls and facetime

Hello again.

Today just felt like a good day to put somethin out there.

Just got off the phone with my mom. We haven't spoken in quite some time.

When I saw her number on the screen I felt a deep relief.  We spoke about Mr. Herb Hennekee, who you can read about here and here.  We talked about a bag of vintage brass animals I found in my garage and that was about it. The thing that has stood between us like a bouncer?

We didn't talk about that. And we may never.

But I want my mom back so it's ok for now.

And just like that, I feel like blogging again......

A few things have changed since the New Year. One huge change is the introduction of technology into my hands. My sister and buddy got me an Iphone and it has been a blessing and a curse!

I have not even picked up my camera in months! All my photos are on my phone, which is so convenient but really just missing that real camera quality and attention. It is pretty awesome to have this particular new super power, though......

 

Facetime.

It is guaranteed to up the entertainment on any phone conversation.

If you facetime me, chances are I'll answer in costume.

It's totally bettered my life ;)

And just like that I'm ready to close. Baby steps, people.....baby steps.

But now I feel it comin back :)

Hope you guys are well, I think of you so often.

Truly.



Happy Valentines..........

Happy Valentines, guys :)

I have a whole bunch to get done today and I've kinda thrown in the blogging towel

but I just keep thinkin about something.

And when I can't shake something, I find this is the place where it usually stays put. 

This picture was taken around 2001. I gave it to my guy for Valentine's that year.

This picture and even the frame was a lie.

There was no love between us. Just a real sour soul tie. A whole lotta bitterness, strife, jealousy, control, abuse, disrespect. Everything that Webster's would define as "anti-love".

But we were livin like most folks. We shared a place, shared a bed, shared meals and did life together. It was miserable, but we were together.

We were two people incapable of love. The harder we tried to emulate the world's version of love the more frustrated and heartbroken we became. I know that for me, staying was a way to cling to the one shining ray of love I had ever experienced or given from my selfish and hardened heart....the little girl who I gave life so that she could be life for someone else.

Emily's life was saved by Love. The love of strangers who worked in a pro-life ministry.

Love was in the eyes and voice of the woman whose face I do not remember, who told me things I had never heard. I do not even remember her words.

 But Love spoke something so deep to me that everything I knew when I callously entered that place was now upside down.

I went home and quit my first job. I didn't need that money anymore.

This baby would live and not die.

So much Love was shone on my heart that day that I put everything damaging down. The baby would have a safe place inside me, beyond that I didn't know.

Love opened my eyes to the harsh reality of our lives and gave me resolve to understand she was not ours entirely. I coasted by on the residue of the love that I felt in that place of ministry and hid myself away from the influence of my former life. When there were merely weeks left until her birth, we were contacted by a woman who "knew somebody".

And with Love, I handed her off......

And Jerome and I had nothing between us but that one act of love.

We stayed together and eventually married. But that one act of love couldn't sustain two hardened hearts and we dissolved. More like exploded. Over everything and everybody.

We were both shattered people, wandering and hurting from so much loss. Utterly disappointed with how empty our lives were and faced with the truth that we destroyed and abandoned every thing eventually. And in our separation and estrangement over two years we both experienced a touch from Love again.

But this time it was not just the residue of someone else's real love. We came face to face with God, whose very nature is love and even calls himself Love. We trusted him, this God who was nothing but a mockery, a rule maker, a taskmaster and at most times a non-issue in our circle.

And how did he ever come through!

 

 We now have a real marriage. We still have moments of bitterness, strife, jealousy, disrespect and all that ugly stuff. We're all selfish by nature. But now we have a revelation of true love.

It doesn't quit. It doesn't stay offended. It doesn't force it's way.

It yields it's rights. It forgives. It perseveres!

Love never fails.

 

Oh yeah.

And Love redeems.

Happy Valentines Day.
:)