Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Gone.

So, I haven't got a clear topic in mind.... layin in bed, husband's sleepin through Castaway again (he puts it in every time he needs a sleep aid, I guess)...... CPS removed the kids from my home today under BOGUS claims from their mother, who naturally put it all on her 13 year old. Really don't know which to believe  and frankly, does it even matter?......Bitter much? Nah. A littled jaded and walled off maybe...... But most overwhelmingly heartbroken.
For a brief moment they were children. Nothin more than children.... We didn't need anything from them, not acceptance, not reassurance, not to make money for us, not to make us feel better, not to lie for us, cover for us, work for us, be a meal ticket for us, steal for us or assuage our loneliness.
They just got to be kids. 
















They are gone tonight and I can do nothing for them. I lay them in your hands, God, for you love them fiercely, more than I could ever dream to. And in Your hands they are safe, for I have asked you in Your name and according to Your will. 
So please remind my heart to stop crying, would ya? 
I trust you, God.

11 comments:

  1. oh wow. are we living double lives though? soul mates much, me and you? I find this odd and perplexing.. sad but also happy. God knows what the future holds for you and for them... he wants the whole ship to sail... and not just one rescued passenger.. i hope that does not sound harsh... but it could be a blessing in disguise. I am going to pray right now... and sit in the bath and think of these two.... and just pray over their future and where abouts. I know that God can re write stories and turn beauty from ashes... I have to believe that in this short time,,, you GREW. and thats what God wants... and you left a seed... you may not realize it now... but they will carry it with them. God bless you friend! xoxoxoxx

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    1. These words pierce my heart and truly go deep, Shauna.... I take hope from these words. He does want the whole ship to sail, doesn't he? I lost sight of the whole picture.... But this morning, I am alive in this truth: He makes all things new.... Thank you for these words, this wisdom that points to Him for the answer, because often there is no "answer" we can give one another to explain hard things....I reread your comment about a dozen times and say "YES"....God bless you, too friend!

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  2. I'm gobsmacked! I can only hope the universe knows something we do not and this will send them on some cosmic path for the better. We can only hope. You're a gem of a person

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    1. Kimmie, bless you for being kind. I know that deeply personal things like this are awkward and uncomfortable to respond to, what can we offer one another in sincerity without ever having met we may ask?... But, you are sincere and kind regardless.... I like you a lot, stranger. You are tiny but fierce in your heart, Kimmie Jones. Thank you so much.

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  3. i'm so sorry. this is so heartbreaking. i don't even have the words.

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    1. Words enough, dear eccentric Rae ;) ..... Your blog is my happy place, you're colorful life and adventures have made me smile through plenty of storms, lady... thank you :)

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  4. Those children have more unction in their pinky than many of us ever manage to muster in a lifetime. They will persevere. Why? Because He is their strength. BUT you have a couple more jewels in that crown. You did what you could, Laura. You did. Don't deny that. Remember that we are not the Holy Spirit and if we shield people from the sufferings of life where is the need for grace? If we do everything in our power and with our might, where is His glory to shine? I know your reasons were true and right, because you didn't really want to do it anyway. You done good, kid. You done real good. God bless Jerome.

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  5. i love ya sis! these kids have undeniably left and imprint in yalls life that has forever changed your humanity. Eron left a new creation, hungry for and seeking His ever embracing Holy Spirit! Emli found refuge in a home where she was simply aloud to be herself...a kid. Immature, child-like faith. Evie finally found an adult who couldnt/wouldnt be swayed. And yes she struggled encountering a grown-up who said what they meant and meant what they said...remaining UNSHAKEABLE! Laura, when people especially other parents look at you they see and Excellent mother...a genuine person. It's not easy being a parent, especially a good one, but because you serve the Lord and put Him 1st in your life it exudes not only to your family, but to everyone who gets to know ya. Yes you love em and youre naturally gonna worry about them, but i agree with Miss Pam. He IS their strength. "You done good kid, you done real good!" Love ya!

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  6. Oh wow! Such sad and heartbreaking news! I'll pray for those kids!

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