Sunday, November 18, 2012

To me this is big. This is Life.

I'm tired right now but I wanna peck out today's happenings because I know they'll just get a little fuzzy and less important by mornin.....sleep, dreams, a night full of tossin and turnin can put miles between you and yesterday....I'll just start by sayin that an apology was due and I was the one needin to do it. You know how you just let things pile up, unsaid in families? And then you just kinda dump the big one at the wrong time and in a bad way? Well, that's what I did. I let my tongue steer me into exile and no matter who was right or wrong, what was justified or not justified the point is that I know better. The point is that love overlooks an offense. Love makes allowances for other's faults. And I had chosen in a moment of hot emotion to let loose of these truths....... So, today I put my actions where I say my faith is. I put my heart back in my faith and I did what needed to be done a month ago. I owed my brother an apology. And God is  faithful to rebuild the bridges we so foolishly torch......He has a new baby girl, a sweet tiny pink baby. And I was able to hold her for the first time. A moment that would not have come without humbling myself.
Sometimes we fight so long and so needlessly that after awhile no one even remembers what we're fightin about. And tryin to uncover the roots of an issue mostly just causes more hurt. Like mulch, maybe we should toss some stuff out for good and let it decompose into the soil, let it just crumble away for good. Make some new soil and let something fresh grow. I'm soul tired from the strife. And I've heard stories my whole life and borne witness to the barriers of warfare between the older generations in our family. It's a heavy cloak that I have grown weary of wearing. I won't wear it another day on this earth.
Two months ago I could tell you that I was estranged from my brother, my little sister and my father.  Today I would tell you that with God all things are possible. And though this journey is not as I would have drafted it, I know that God is not moved by my attitude but rather, by my faith.


  1. Amen sis. You're a strong lady!

    1. You know I'm a wuss. But His strength is made perfect in my weakness, so bein a wuss might just make me more God dependent ;)