Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentines..........

Happy Valentines, guys :)
I have a whole bunch to get done today and I've kinda thrown in the blogging towel
but I just keep thinkin about something.
And when I can't shake something, I find this is the place where it usually stays put. 
This picture was taken around 2001. I gave it to my guy for Valentine's that year.
This picture and even the frame was a lie.
There was no love between us. Just a real sour soul tie. A whole lotta bitterness, strife, jealousy, control, abuse, disrespect. Everything that Webster's would define as "anti-love".
But we were livin like most folks. We shared a place, shared a bed, shared meals and did life together. It was miserable, but we were together.
We were two people incapable of love. The harder we tried to emulate the world's version of love the more frustrated and heartbroken we became. I know that for me, staying was a way to cling to the one shining ray of love I had ever experienced or given from my selfish and hardened heart....the little girl who I gave life so that she could be life for someone else.
Emily's life was saved by Love. The love of strangers who worked in a pro-life ministry.
Love was in the eyes and voice of the woman whose face I do not remember, who told me things I had never heard. I do not even remember her words.
 But Love spoke something so deep to me that everything I knew when I callously entered that place was now upside down.
I went home and quit my first job. I didn't need that money anymore.
This baby would live and not die.
So much Love was shone on my heart that day that I put everything damaging down. The baby would have a safe place inside me, beyond that I didn't know.
Love opened my eyes to the harsh reality of our lives and gave me resolve to understand she was not ours entirely. I coasted by on the residue of the love that I felt in that place of ministry and hid myself away from the influence of my former life. When there were merely weeks left until her birth, we were contacted by a woman who "knew somebody".
And with Love, I handed her off......
And Jerome and I had nothing between us but that one act of love.
We stayed together and eventually married. But that one act of love couldn't sustain two hardened hearts and we dissolved. More like exploded. Over everything and everybody.
We were both shattered people, wandering and hurting from so much loss. Utterly disappointed with how empty our lives were and faced with the truth that we destroyed and abandoned every thing eventually. And in our separation and estrangement over two years we both experienced a touch from Love again.
But this time it was not just the residue of someone else's real love. We came face to face with God, whose very nature is love and even calls himself Love. We trusted him, this God who was nothing but a mockery, a rule maker, a taskmaster and at most times a non-issue in our circle.
And how did he ever come through!
 
 We now have a real marriage. We still have moments of bitterness, strife, jealousy, disrespect and all that ugly stuff. We're all selfish by nature. But now we have a revelation of true love.
It doesn't quit. It doesn't stay offended. It doesn't force it's way.
It yields it's rights. It forgives. It perseveres!
Love never fails.
 

Oh yeah.
And Love redeems.

Happy Valentines Day.
:)

19 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing.my heart just melted.

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  2. I love it! God is good! He turns a mess into a message of love for hope ��

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  3. That right there is a REAL Valentine's message. Forget that Hallmark crap. This is it.

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    1. I think about you often, Eartha....... <3

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  4. Happy V-Day Laura thanks for sharing and we miss you too here in BloggerLand. : )

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  5. Wow, that's powerful Sister! Thank you for sharing, I needed that. Happy Valentine's Day!

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  6. Love this post. Really, really love it. I remember you commenting on one of my old posts... about how honest it was... and I feel the same way about this one. It's really great hat you can look back and see your relationship, warts and all, and be able to see the hard work and progress that's gotten you to where you are now. Proud of you both. Marriage is good hard work worth doing.

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  7. Wow. I was expected something sweetly, syrupy and saccharine (especially having just come home from a wedding)

    Your story of love and faith both punched me in the gut and touched my heart. Thank you for reminding me that it takes work to reap these kinds of rewards.

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    1. Thank you, Erik (2 months late)...... love is not anything portrayed in media. That's all a bunch of foolish garbage that teaches people not to fight for something lasting. When you get it, grab it and fight to keep it. Screw emotions, they are fickle anyhow ;)

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    2. You're welcome (don't feel too bad, I just came back to blogging from a two month hiatus as well)

      I certainly dream that one day I'll have a lady that I can 'til the end. However, your declaration of faith has reminded me that theres a love in my life that I've been keeping on the back burner for far too long now.

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  8. Hi!
    I was checking out your site after reading about the cool stuff you sent Derek and just wanted to say that I really loved this post. Just beautifully written and really powerful! Glad to hear how good God was to you and your family.

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    1. Thanks, man :) I'm just the crappiest upkeeper here, lately. My "t" key is going out and that's frustrating to type with..... among other things ;)
      I appreciate your comment and hope you are doing well as of today. Later!

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  9. Ya know I had read this awhile ago and I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say. I have been dealing with the ending of my marriage and every time I'd want to comment I'd refrain because I just didn't know what to type. I still don't know what to type. I feel like we were friends in high school even though I know we've never met in person (yet!). There is something about you that I feel a connection with. I don't always talk to you, but I am always checking in on you. I am always so in awe of the two of you. I am happy for you and the love you have with Jerome, and I also have hope that I will one day be able to have that kind of love too, the kind full of joy and struggles, because that is life. At the end of the day that person is there. Through thick and thin as my Nana would say. Your life story is one that I find inspiring and your willingness to share it with all of us is always amazing. I hope you and your family are doing incredibly well. Hugs and love your way honey bunch!

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    1. <3 you are so special, Michael. I recognize that.

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    2. You're marriage doesn't have to be over...you can choose to work it out. WORK...it is not easy but it is simple. Just remember that forgiveness is not about who is right or wrong, it is about restoring a relationship.

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  10. I just want to let you know that another person found this, read this, and was amazed by the power of grace.

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    1. Ummm..... I've been indulging in your blog archive the last few days and have really been enjoying your content and all your links and suggestions to other blogs are on point. So thanks for stopping by! Truly, how cool? I would like to her back here and lately I'm feelin it again. He has been so at work in our lives and I have been remiss in not sharing for His glory.

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